Maiya: Now & Laters were the ultimate test of patience and fortitude. Kell: You know when you find that now & later in your bag that’s been there for months, and it’s kinda soft but still kinda hard? And it’s the best fucking thing on the planet? And you hold onto it until it is a tiny dagger slicing your tongue and the roof of your mouth? No? Just me? Oh. NAHLADUHSĭa: Okay so growing up in the hood, i never knew they were called NOW or LATERS cause i never saw them in a package, just individually wrapped when my friends would say “aye you want some Annihilators?” Luvvie: Tell the truth and shame the devil, Britni. It’s offensive.īritni: BTW: Why are they called now AND laters? Don’t nobody say that properly. When the slow burn starts on your tongue, you just start questioning where you went wrong in life and decision-making. Luvvie: OMG cinnamon gum is a weapon of taste buds destruction. Who ever thought that was a good IDEA?!? I remember trying them when I was younger and making the sour beer face because all I tasted was sweetened dye. ![]() Maiya: Peeps are marshmallows coated in sugar. I CANNOT DEAL WITH THAT INDECISIVE MARSHMALLOW TRAGEDY. But what I hate with the intensity of 1,000 African suns is those Peeps that are around Easter. Luvvie: LOLLLL “ITT Tech Candy Institute.” Everest Sweets College dropouts, Kell. I’m not sure we’re even supposed to be ingesting them. I mean, really–a box of 8,000 pieces only costs a dollar. Plus, I can only stand to burn my taste buds off once a year. I can’t be around my husband because cinnamon candy and gum makes him want to kick puppies. It’s like they all wanted to go to Jelly Belly University, but didn’t get accepted so they are graduates of ITT Tech Candy Institute.Īlthough I indulge in Hot Tamales from time to time. Kell: I say death to all these gummy candies that are bad jelly beans in disguise. Scott: Candy corn is just some shady cornstarch and carnauba wax trying to lip sync for it’s life. Maiya: Candy corn be trying to recruit on Crenshaw in front of Louisiana Fried Chicken with pamphlets and a bullhorn.īritni: Candy Corn be dressed like leftover Jedi Knights come November 1. It’s trying really hard but only cultists are here for it. So they’re the Westboro Baptist of Candy?īritni: No…that’s black licorice. They must not like to have nice things.īritni: Man, people who enjoy Twizzlers are misguided souls, but people who love black licorice will Hannibal Lector your soul.īritni: Candy Corn is the Black Israelites of Halloween. Luvvie: Of ALL things in this glorious world to love… BLACK LICORICE?!? That person doesn’t wanna win at anything. Like you totally pawned it at Beelzebub’s Bazaar and lost the claim ticket.īritni: Dude, I met somebody who said they preferred black licorice. Maiya: OMG! If you eat black licorice willingly, you have no soul. I just threw a pillow at the thought of that failed experiment that people love. NO THANK YOU! S wedish fish is what happened when someone’s cherry gum didn’t GUM alla way over. They get all stuck in your teeth and you gotta chew one for 5 minutes. Luvvie: SWEDISH FISH?!?! Them joints taste like everlasting tapioca balls. If you need to eat Red, have some Swedish Fish. Karima: Just because Twizzlers are Red, don’t make them right. Like they may have started off being marketed as edible birthday candles, but the jerks that produce them just stopped telling folks to light those suckas up. Maiya: I feel like Twizzlers are a fusion food of sort. Somebody offered me one of the jelly filled kind once and I threatened their life before I realized what I was saying.ĭa: Twizzlers do NOT taste the way they smell.if they did, I’d love them. ![]() ![]() Maiya: Twizzlers are so terrible, you can’t even tell when they go bad. Scott: I’d rather eat a cherry Chapstick than a Twizzler. I was like, YO, WE’RE FROM LOS ANGELES! We don’t eat that ish. My kid picked up a pack of Twizzlers at 7-11 once and I almost slapped them out of his hand. Yes, red is a flavor.īritni: No self-respecting woman from California can ever condone consuming Twizzlers. Luvvie: I can’t even defend Twizzlers, even though I do partake in some twizzle snacking from time to time. Maiya: Twizzlers taste like the scraps of those old bubble gum wax teeth that were sold during Halloween. ![]() WHAT TEAM ARE YOU ON? As long as you don’t rep for Black licorice, we gon be alright. Well, last year, my friends and I entered into a serious discussion about candies that are clearly here to destroy us. Like the fact that yellow starbursts are the ones you give your archnemesis. There have been many conversations about candy here. Y’all know how seriously we take candy around these parts.
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